This is Kaia on Easter Sunday, as you can tell she was not at all happy about her wardrobe. We had to go visit two different sidesof the family on different sides of town. She was exhausted. I apologize for all the picture posts but for some reason the page I need to log in will not load, but apparently I can post through Hello!!! In the next few days I will either be switching site's or blogger will hopefully let me on!  

Sorry about the delay in a post, blogger hasn't let me log on in days. Hopefulyl all wil be well after this post!!!

Conversation

N: This is why I get up in the morning
Me: Oh does that mean YOUR going to start waking up with her at the crack of dawn??

Isn't this the cutest face ever? This is also the face of the child that broke Mommy's computer and it was broke for THREE days. But we're back and new posts will be coming soon.

Reminiscing Pt 2 quite possibly just as long as part one.

Where'd I leave off? Gushing..ok now I remember. So my mom came down stairs and we were off to the hospital, where I felt the need to apologize 35 times for gushing all over the wheelchair. (Well it was gross would you want to be the one to clean that??) Up at the maternity ward I lucked out and get the best room on the floor because there is only two other women there that night. So not only did I get the biggest suite(yes ,suite!) with the private bathroom I got endless cable and a couch that pulled out into a bed for N. To sleep on. The nursing staff was great I loved them. They immediately got blankets and extra pillows(actual blankets not just a thick sheet! Imagine that!) . Once I was settled in they put a little strip in my underwear to test if my water actually broke (what the hell did they think all that water was??Pee?) So obviously the test turned whatever color it was supposed to be and yes my water had actually broken! The whole hospital came in (well it felt like..) to check and see where the baby was at and apparently I was at minus two. Which was good. The fetal heart monitor was strapped to my belly, and I was told to get some rest until I felt some actual contractions and the midwife would be in the next morning. Of course I didn't sleep, who could sleep, I don't know about anyone else and how they would be in that situation but I was way to excited to sleep. My baby was coming out! 6 weeks early! Actually I do know what other people could do. N passed out on the couch and slept like a baby, until the next morning. Finally the midwife came in at about 7a.m (I'd been there since about 1:00a.m) and decided we needed to do an ultrasound because when she examined me she didn't feel anything. My cervix wasn't even dilated. In the ultrasound we discovered that the little peanut was up under my rib and upside down. Meaning that the little bangs were not her foot pushing on me anxious to get out as I'd assumed but her big ol' head. My lovely midwife (we'll call her...Tegan, which is in no way close to her actual name but I'm not that creative). So anyway Tegan went to consult with the big chief midwife on what to do. N, surprise surprise went back to sleep. At about 9:45a.m that morning N went to the bathroom just as Tegan and the Big Chief came back and discussed our different options to either wait another few hours and see if the baby comes back down (not advised because infection without amniotic fluid and whatnot) or we could go ahead and have a cesarean and just have it over with. I went with Option B. A few minutes later N came out of the bathroom and informed that he was going to have a baby within the next few minutes and handed scrubs. Then they wheeled me out of the room. Poor N was so confused! They wheeled me down the hall to a freezing,cold room. Where the anathesiologist came in and had me sit up to give me the spinal. I have a huge fear of needles so when they informed me they wanted to put a needle in my spine and I hat to sit still throughout the whole process I actually considered calling the whole thing off. But I did it. They laid me back down strapped my arms out at my sides,(not fun, why do they do that?!) and asked me if I was feeling anything, I assume they were sticking me with a needle or something but I couldn't see because of the big screen they put up. N came in and the surgery started. I hadn't realized the surgery had started until a few minutes into it when I asked if they had and they laughed and said they were getting ready to pull the baby out. According to N (who watched the whole thing) he saw her butt first, then they pulled out her little legs, and her body. Which hurt when it wasn't supposed to because they were pushing on me, which is the worst pressure ever.

But then they got to the head and there was a problem. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, not once but twice. Those were the scariest minutes of my life suddenly everyone seemed to be moving around. I asked if she was ok and if they got her out and all N said was yes. My next thought was why isn't she crying? N later told me they had to bag her once or twice to get her breathing. But I didn't know that all I knew at that moment was that my baby wasn't crying like she should be. I started praying like I never have in my life, and what seemed like hours later, but was actually seconds I heard the best sound of my life. My little Kaia let out her first scream. And boy was she pissed. So at 10:40 a.m on November 8, 2003. My little punkin butt made her entrance into the world and scared the crap out of her parents in the process. Once she started crying the tension in the room lifted and everyone's mood's got lighter. N went over and took pictures and was allowed to hold her for the first time. Being a preemie I expected her to have some health problems but she was fine, absolutely perfect. Except for the fact that she was small. Only 4lbs 8oz, 17 inches long. When they were finally done with me they started to wheel me out and handed me Kaia for the first time. I started crying, never was something more beautiful to me. I was wheeled back into my suite and Kaia was greeted by her grandparents. Many people were called, the one thing that meant the most to me though was, the fact that my older brother who was at work that day left work went to my mother's house and brought the rest of my entire family to see the baby. I think besides my mother , N, and myself he was the most excited person in the room. I was exhausted, the nurses had to take the baby to run some tests and get her bracelet on her and she was gone for about 2 hours. By the time she got back about 12 people were in the room. Ranging from grandparents, too aunts and,uncles, and friends. I was so glad my wonderful peanut had such a great welcome into the world. At least I was for about an hour then I was ready to send everyone home.
They all finally left and it was just me and my little peanut. I stayed in the hospital for 5 wonderful days where I was able to hand the baby to the nurses and sleep!,. This is the last time that would happen for about 4 months..... But I'm sure you figured out that we survived and made it all the way up to 16 months!

Reminiscing Pt 1 also known as the longest post ever or as Kaia's birth story

Being pregnant with my second child has made me remember events and feelings I had when I was pregnant with my first-Kaia. I am constantly comparing the two pregnacy's and analyzing the differences, and wondering what the birth of this one will be like. So naturally I think a lot about what Kaia's birth was like. Kaias birth was not a normal birth. Too be honest when I was pregnant with her, I never really sat down and thought about what it would be like to give birth to a baby. On some level I just thought it would be like any other normal birth, yes there would be some pain, but nice drugs would take care of that! I never imagined that it would be any different so I didn't worry about it too much. Oh sure I'd heard all the stories of what could go wrong and how painful it was but like I said, I planned on many good drugs to help me through that and as for anything going wrong, chalk it up to my being young and naive or whatever you want but I was under the mistaken impression that it just wouldn't happen to me. Now before you assume I'm about to tell a life changing story of my near death experience giving birth or my daughter's(there wasn't and I hope never will be a near death experience for either one of us) thankfully nothing dramatic like that happened. It just wasn't what I expected it to be at all, therefore it wasn't normal to me!

Kaia's birth started I guess you could say when I was about 32 weeks, when I had my first contraction. N and I were at our soon to be former apartment when I felt it. We were moving out and our phone was already turned off so N ran downstairs and used the neighbors phone. And I had the second ambulance ride of my life. I don't think I was ever more scared in my life. I was brought up to the comfy maternity ward and given a room, N. had to go home and sleep for work the next morning, so my Mom stayed the night with me in the hospital(it still amazes me when your in pain no matter how old you are you still want your mother!) . The next morning they had stopped the contractions and I was ordered to go back home and stay on bedrest for at least a week. So I did that. After the week (almost to the day) I was back(I stayed at my mothers house for my bedrest) at N and I's soon to be former apartment when contractions started again! This time we just called my mother who lived on the other side of town to come and get me. We went to the ER, and brought to an observation room ,where yet again the fetal monitor with it's cold ass jelly were placed on my belly to watch our little peanuts heart rate. The observation room was freezing cold and all I had was a flimsy night gown, and an even flimsier blanket. Finally after hours of waiting and discussion they brought me up to the maternity ward, with the nice blankets and actual heat in the rooms. My contractions had stopped for a short while, until around 11 when they started to get pretty bad. and there were actual noticeable big spikes almost all the way up,at this point I was pretty scared and actually attempted to order the peanut to stay in there. (She listened-sort of) . Two drugs were tried I broke through the first one, (don't remember the names at all, I was too tired to care it was very late and I hadn't slept and I was in pain! I just wanted the contractions to stop). The second drug worked, and I was finally able to relax and sleep. Throughout the night the nurses monitored me and I woke up to two of them telling me I was still contracting though not nearly as bad. My wonderful Midwives(Love,loved these women amazing all of them and if I ever move out of state they are coming with me because they are that good) came in and recommended I stay another night to have steroid shots administered every8 (or was it 12?) hours to speed up the baby's lung growth because at this point they were pretty sure I wasn't going to make it to full term. (Great just what every pregnant woman wants to hear). So I spent another day and night on the maternity ward and was finally sent home to be on bedrest and to take a pill every four hours to control the contraction's was ordered to take the pills until I reached thirty four weeks and after that the baby could be born safely.

So I did and I think it was possibly the most boring week of my life.(You try being on bedrest only allowed out to pee.) The night before I hit the 34 week mark I was extremely tired and was already in bed when I was supposed to take my last dose . N was playing video games and I was tired and fell asleep. (N was going to bring me the last dose after he finished up) I was sort of in and out of sleep and all the sudden my leg twitched . I had no clue why,(unfortunately I kicked poor N at the end of the bed when this happened, but of course he didn't notice) so I chalked it up to a strange dream I wasn't remembering. I had the sudden urge to pee so I walked upstairs to the bathroom, when I got there I noticed a strange wetness, and thought I'd peed in my sleep or something, but nope is was all clear. Naturally I freaked and ran straight for -you guessed it my mom. (We were still staying with my parents). My poor parents! I ran in there like bat out of hell and started un-piling pillows off of my mother's head(the woman sleeps with like 6 pillows on her head, I still don't understand how she breathes). She sat up and and tried to understand my incoherent babbling about the pee that wasn't pee and that was still falling out, and how the heck did I stop it. She blinked and calmly said Well, are you ready to have a baby? At that point I stared and just said Well Ok.(Keep in mind this is like 12:00a.m and my first kid-coherent I was not) Being the take charge kind of Mom she is she called the midwife to tell them we were coming in and sent me to tell N, who all this time was still downstairs playing video games and totally oblivious to the fact that I'd been freaking out yelling mom and running to get her ( I should also mention that throughout all this my stepfather who had also been asleep when I ran into the room had given me a hug and fallen back asleep like nothing had happened, *insert eye roll here*) . So after shoving a pad in my underwear and walking downstairs I stood off to the side of the T.V and told N. my water broke, he mumbled something like your water broke? and went on with his game. After a second something finally clicked and he immediately stood up and asked what that meant. I told him well, we're going to have a baby. He stared at me for a minute like I was speaking Japanese, and then immediately called everyone he knew while we waited for my mother to come down and go with us. Meanwhile I sat in a chair and gushed,(there's no other way to describe it).

I'll leave the actual birth and etc, for the next post. this one is already huge and probably will make your butt hurt having to sit long enough to read it.

Sunset view from my apartment...another post coming later today...check back! 

Week 5..I think...or is it 6??

Is this a bump?? Or is this just a big lunch?? Or maybe do I just really really want to be showing?? I promise I am not sticking out my stomach....

It's so frustrating...

...when you start to pick up your messy living room before you go to bed so it'd at least be tidy when your child gets up in the morning, and you sit down to watch something real quick on T.V. and wake up two and half hours later, freezing to death and half of the couch!! And it's now two in the morning and it's still not straightened up!

It's also so frustrating when you know you are pregnant and the hormones have kicked into high gear when you go to get the last little cup of vanilla pudding from the fridge anticipating the lovely taste and smoothness of it, only to discover your husband has eaten it, and you start crying because you are so mad.

This is going to be a long 8 months.

Disclaimer....

In case you can't tell from my previous posts, big things have been happening in my life lately. Last week I turned 21. This week it is confirmed that my family will have another little member. I will be the mother of two children, not just one, TWO!! It's an amazing feeling. It's hard sorting through how I feel about all this. Which is why I haven't posted much lately. On top of all this my husband and I decided to tell my family and his (Hi,Guys!) that I was pregnant again via this blog. We simply gave them the web address and waited to see what their reactions to the picture would be. They were all very excited and reacted wonderfully. (Thankfully, I wasn't quite expecting that!) I realized after the fact that once I gave them the address, they could come back, and continue reading everything I write. When I started this journal, I intended this to be somewhat private from certain people, because I knew I would be using it as my sounding board, a place to grow and to vent about my feelings and to hopefully make some friends along the way. The people I am talking about might not like some of the things I have to say because it may concern them at one time or another when I vent and also I wonder if I'm fully ready to allow these people to really see my thought process. Now that the cat's out of the bag so to speak, I'm just going to have to suck it up and go with it. I will try my hardest to be careful of what I say concerning members of my husbands family and mine but if I should slip up and inadvertently hurt someone I apologize in advance. There are consequences to everyone's actions and I guess I'm saying that this is my blog and while I will be as respectful as I can, I will take the repercussions of anything I say that will hurts someone. I have written a few other posts and I will post them later on. But I feel I need to say this first. I guess you could sort of call this my disclaimer to any family who reads this!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

One pumpkin butt is good but two is better....

Big post coming soon! I've had a hectic weekend dealing with my poor little Kaia. Friday night she had a fever of 102.5 and has been sick all weekend. In between doctor visits and the frequent meltdowns and crying all night and her wanting to be held only by Mama, I've managed to write out a half post about my birthday and several billion other random things, it'll be finished soon!!! Stay tuned!